How Tongue-ties can affect motor skills & How to fix it! Guest Podcast Bethany Lovern on Birthjunkie

How Tongue-ties Can Affect Motor Skills and How to Fix It! Episode 24

 Podcast Host: Petra Cruz

Podcast Guest: Bethany Lovern

July 12, 2023


About Bethany

Bethany Lovern is a wife and Mom of 2 boys. She is a Lactation Consultant and Speech Therapist. After spending 6 years in the nursing home, she decided to stay at home with her firstborn son. Sixteen months after her first son, she welcomed her second son whose breastfeeding journey started out really rough and changed how she approached serving her clients.


  • Bethany’s breastfeeding journey and how it changed her
  • How a partner can support mom through their breastfeeding journey
  • How tongue and lip ties can affect simple motor skills
  • When and how a revision could be considered 
  • Why it’s important not to rush into revising ties
  • How Bethany effectively serves her clients now


Connect with Petra

The Birth Junkie Website:

Follow me on Instagram: @thebirthjunkiepodcast and @Birthing_Come_True

Free Discovery Call: Book Now!  

Birth Education Course:
 The Sacred Birth Academy

 Free Overcome Your Birth Fears Workbook

Free 60-minute Painless Birth Video Workshop

VBAC Success Guide FREE

Mindset Coaching

Connect with Bethany

Instagram: @breastfeedingrelief


Today I have a guest and her name is Bethany. So Bethany, we’re going to talk about lip and tongue ties and your journey through that.

So I would love for you to start by introducing yourself to my audience. Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for having me. So I’m Bethany and I worked in the corporate world for eight years as a speech language pathologist. And nursing homes. And so I managed seven nursing homes. So I knew when I had my first son that I did not want to go back to that work because I had to hit all seven nursing homes every week.

There was always a ton of fires because 30 therapists worked for me. I, of course, worked for the administration because they contracted us in, um, as a company. And so I knew I didn’t want that as a mom because I knew I wouldn’t be a mom. Resigned after our first son, and so I was lucky enough to stay home with him.

He was also an IVF baby. Um, so that was, you know, a hard journey, and so I was so excited to finally stay home with him. However, after you’re home, your phone stops ringing. Um, no one needs you, but this little baby and it’s super important, but it’s so hard mamas that you’re just like, I feel I’m not doing enough, right?

Like I’m sitting on the couch, breastfeeding. I just didn’t, I didn’t feel like I was doing enough. So. Then we signed up to do another round of I V F. We still had some frozen babies, so we were gonna do another transfer. Um, and I ended up pregnant all by myself. Huge miracle. Wow. Amazing. I know, I know. It was, I was so surprised.

I actually had to call a facility and I was like, I need to cancel because I’m pregnant. That’s, that was super exciting for us. With our second son, let’s fast forward to delivery. So I deliver him, they put him straight to the breast, skin to skin. And I was like, Oh, this hurts. And I was like, it did not feel like this before.

Everyone’s like, you forgotten. I felt super dismissed by everyone. So my mama heart said, something’s wrong. The speech therapist in me said, look in his mouth. And I was like, Oh my goodness, he is tongue tied, so his frenulum or the skin kind of underneath his tongue was all the way to the tip of his tongue, and so his tongue looked like a heart.

Oh, wow. Yeah, it was very severe. So that’s like a stage four severe tongue tie, and he also had a lip tie. Now, I felt in the hospital, again, no one listened to me. I never saw a lactation consultant because every time she came in, he was doing his 24 hour check. He was getting a bath. He was getting his hearing screened, right?

And so I kept like calling, please come back. We’re available. Well, she’s in someone else’s room or she’s in the NICU or, or sorry, NICU. Um, you know, she’s left for the day. And so we only stayed for 32 hours cause I didn’t have any complications. And so then we were sent home and I never saw a lactation consultant.

So thankfully my mom was staying with us. And so she said, she knew I had gone to a breastfeeding group. She knew it was on Wednesdays. And so she told me, get in the car, tell me how to get there. I’ll drive, get in the car. We’re going, we’re going to go see your lactation consultant. Amazing. I know. So we went and saw my friend Kate and she was like, how’s everything going?

And of course, as a new mom, what do I do? Breakdown and tears. Yeah, I was just gonna say he started crying. So of course she gave me a big hug and she said, what’s going on? How can I help you? And I said, my baby has a tongue tie. Can you help me out? She said, well, let’s check. You know, she let him suck on her finger, you know, to double check.

And she said, Yep. You’re, you’re right. Yep. I bet breastfeeding is super hard. And I was like, yes. And I don’t feel like I’m giving him enough milk. My breasts are hard as rock. And she was like, girl, you need to pump, start pumping. So you do not get those fog ducks. So of course I started pumping. We called a dentist.

He said, great, I’ll see you tomorrow. Oh, that’s great. So we are four days old. I’m taking my brand new baby, see a dentist and get his lip and tongue tie release. He did it that day in the office. Wow. Mm hmm. Shocking. Yeah. A four year old for a mom, four days postpartum. Seriously. Wow. I do not recommend it, mamas.

Right? So that is part of my journey that was messed up, but I did not know it was messed up. Right. And so that is partly why I’ve started my company breastfeeding relief with Bethany, because I want to help other mamas that their babies have tongue ties and I want to walk them through it correctly so that they will not have all the issues I had.

Yeah. And so I have a question. Go ahead. So I, from what I understand, because I’ve never gotten, my babies did have like different variations of tongue and lip ties, but I never got them revised. Um, but I heard that you have to do a lot of like stretching and kind of like a physical therapy, but for their mouth.

Yes. Yeah. So I am like a speech therapist for your mouth. And so that was part of my story that I felt the dentist missed. Right? So he said, take your finger every time you change his diaper, take your finger underneath his lip and rub it back and forth five to six times, and then rub it under his tongue five to six times, and I was like, that’s it.

And he was like, yeah, he never saw me again. I never got a phone call to ask if he was okay. If I was okay. nothing, right? And so really this needs to be a team approach that I felt no one told me. The best is to see a speech therapist or a lactation consultant or me both, beforehand, right? And teach you the stretches because the last thing you want is an oral aversion that your baby will now hate someone in your mouth, right?

Or hate breastfeeding. And then your baby is not eating. So how after you had that done, how was your breastfeeding journey from that point? So it got better, right? Because he was able to latch well. And so my breastfeeding journey went fine. However, if we fast forward, we’re going to start seeing a lot of issues because I’m not sure because I was not trained at the time and did not understand everything about tongue ties.

Right. So if a tongue tie is revised correctly, when you lift up their tongue, it should look like a white diamond. I do not recall ever seeing a white diamond. Okay. So was it not revised correctly? I’m not sure that was years ago. Now I was also four days postpartum. I could have missed it, right? Like, or did he not do it correctly?

I’m not sure. Okay. And so with that being said, you know, there are really a lot more stretches that need to be done really like lifting of the tongue side to side and not just rubbing your tongue on it because it’s a fresh wound. Like think about any wound. Do you want to be rubbing your finger into a cut?

Okay. Ouch, you’re going to make it, um, inflamed and it’s going to hurt, right? And so I want to teach you those stretches beforehand and do them a week beforehand. Get the release done with your doctor and then continue to do those stretches. Um, some doctors will tell you two weeks, some will tell you four weeks.

And during the first, um, The first week you do not need to go more than six hours without a stretch. So yes, moms, I’m sorry. You need to wake your babies up or, you know, in the middle of the night, you need to be doing the stretches because you do not want your tongue to read here to the bottom. Um, of your mouth because then you’re going to have to do it over again.

Oh my gosh. And so with a lip tie, is it like the same process for that? Exactly. Yeah. So instead of rubbing your finger against it, you want to be stretching the lip up instead um, of just rubbing your finger across it. Wow. So does it get scabbed up after that? It’ll scab like a little bit, but you know, one of the biggest examples I loved hearing was pretend the tongue and the lip are like a window, right?

You do not want the window to go up and down. You want to shut the curtains. Think about that for a minute. So if the window shuts, you’ve now healed the wound back to exactly how it was before. Instead, shut the curtains and then it will be a straight up and down line. That is a great visual. I love that.

Thank you. I can’t, I can’t take credit for that. I read that from another dentist, but I love that. Um, I, yeah, I do love that example. I think it’s a perfect visual. And so after going back to your son’s journey, how long were you able to breastfeed him after that? Yeah, so I breastfed him for 13 months, and then, um, we were only nursing at night and in the morning, and then it just kind of ended.

It was more he didn’t ask for it anymore at night. We read books. He didn’t ask. I didn’t offer. We were just done. Yeah. It was kind of how we ended our journey. Um, and that was fine with me because, you know, having two pregnancies back to back, I never stopped nursing in between them. I was ready to be done being touched and wanted mama time back.

I totally get that. There’s like a point where you’re like, I’m so touched out. Like, I need some me time. Yeah. So do you mind if I fast forward and talk about what I saw happening before or afterwards? Let’s talk about it. Okay. So I thought we were just fine. But then of course, then you start moving on to solids.

And so my sister in law loves baby lead weaning. And so I was like, great, we’re going to try baby lead weaning. Mamas, it’s not for everyone. If you don’t do it, it’s okay. My babies, both of them actually, were gaggers. And so when they would do that, and it’s okay to gag, right? It’s, you know, as long as they aren’t turning blue, they’re learning how to chew, it’s fine.

However, my kids would gag and then vomit everything back up at me. And I was like, nope, I’m, no, we can’t. I tried it with many different things, textures. No, I was just like, no, we, I can’t do this. Um, they were just gagging them. selves too much. So we had the gagging problem, which now from the research I’ve done goes along with the tongue tie because of where the tongue’s like positioned in the back and it doesn’t, it’s not able to go side to side.

Um, now we’re going to switch over to a windshield wipers, right? It’s not able to go side to side like a windshield wiper, it’s a boat, only going forward and backwards. Okay, so they are not able to manipulate the food through their mouth correctly. And then let’s say for instance, they get food in the side of their mouth.

My kid couldn’t take his tongue and go sweep it out of the side of his cheek like the rest of us can do. Instead, he has to use his finger. So he constantly had his fingers in his mouth because it was helping him. Chew his food and move his food around. Wow. That, that makes so much sense. Mm-hmm. Good.

I’m glad you’re liking these visuals. I hope everyone is. Yes. . Um, another big thing for him was he was a drooler, a huge drooler. Like I was still changing bibs on him until he was like 18 months old. And then I was like, no, we gotta stop with the bibs. And I just started chaining his shirt three to five times a day.

So my laundry load was huge for him. Wow. Because if you think about if your tongue is not saying in the right part, so like try to hold your tongue on the bottom of your mouth. And swallow like it’s going to start pooling a ton of water and it’s going to be hard to swallow and don’t move your tongue.

And so that all that has saliva has to go somewhere. So they just drool everywhere. So my poor kid couldn’t color because his whole page would be wet with water. Right. And so, yeah, so playing with toys, there was always water everywhere and his shirts were soaked. Um, he also didn’t walk until he was 18 months old and we had to go see a physical therapist.

And so she put shoe supports in because she said he had flat arches and I was like, no, I feel like there, there’s something else going on than this. And so more research I started doing. I went back, of course, and started taking more continuing ed to figure out what was wrong with my kid because I felt like nobody I can’t say nobody listened, but nobody had an answer.

So I started taking more classes. So I went back to school to become a lactation consultant. I went and took the Feed the Peets course, um, to start figuring out why we were having trouble eating. Um, we also call some of these kids the white bread kids. Because they only eat white breads, anything that’s soft to eat, soft granola bars.

They love a soft sandwich. They love eating white toast, right? It’s nothing hard for them to eat or chew. They love pouches. They love applesauces and yogurts. Think about all your peer aid foods. Mm hmm. Okay. And so…it was time to come up to our pediatric dentist for the first time to go get his teeth clean.

And so we’re sitting there and, um, she was like, you know, your son has a tongue tie. I said, I got it revised. She goes, no, no, no, no, no, no. Your son has a tongue-tie. a posterior tongue tie. So it’s in the back. She said, let me show you. And I said, Oh my gosh, he does. Right. Because as a mom, it was revised. Why am I going to continue to check his tongue constantly and lift his tongue up with my fingers?

I’m not right. And so I felt like the worst mom in the world that I had not thought about that, that that is why we were still having all of these problems. You know, yeah, my kid should have been walking, you know, my kid can’t jump, my kid can’t ride a bike, my kid’s drooling, my kid struggles to eat, but this didn’t happen with my first kid, right?

So then you feel like an awful mom, that you never did this. Right. And so do you feel like this was related to his tongue tie? Like his… Absolutely. Really? Because, fast forward. To him being three after seeing the pediatric dentist, we saw, um, that pediatric dentist did not revise tongue ties. So she referred us out to an ENT.

He revised his tongue tie at three. I will tell you, I came home with a son that was so different. It took about a week, but my son no longer drools He can jump, goes downstairs and actually walk them. That was just from one tongue tie release and not doing. Anything else, right?

Like no extra physical therapy. Like we did start seeing, right? I started that team approach. So I did start seeing a physical therapist, you know, after all this research that, oh, he’s super tight. And she was like, he is so tight because every time you picked him up, he would arch his back. It was part of that stiffness, part of that low tone.

Those kids are hard to pick up. And I go ahead. Oh, I was gonna say, I always did not like picking him up as he got bigger and older because he arched his back, whereas my other kid would lean into me. Oh, that’s so interesting. But in my mind it makes sense because mm-hmm. , if you look at the body as a hole mm-hmm.

like if one thing in their body is so tight, it’s all interconnected. So it’s once that was revised or released, then he was just, So different. Oh my gosh, that’s amazing. It is. And so actually, if you go and look at, um, there’s a really cool picture. If you look up fascia from your tongue to your toes, there was a guy that dissected a body, um, that literally you can see the connection from the tongue all the way to the toes on how your body’s connected with fascia.

Oh, my gosh. That is like, I feel like that’s so life changing. That could be life changing for somebody. Yeah. I had a friend that her son’s was connected when he was older. I think he was six or seven after it was, um, you know, revised. First thing he said to his mom was, I didn’t know it wasn’t supposed to hurt when you yawned.

And she goes, you never told me. And he goes, I didn’t know it wasn’t supposed to hurt. I can’t believe my chest doesn’t hurt anymore. And so I’ve heard of people, adults that actually have this done too. So do you have experience in research or anything like that? So one of my good friends, he actually had it done recently.

He was 30 when he had it done. He went to the dentist and says, goes, Whoa, you have a really bad tongue tie. And he goes, No, I don’t. And he goes, no one’s ever caught it. I don’t. No, I don’t. And he goes, yeah, you do. And so he said, okay, well, let’s get it revised. So he got it revised and he goes, oh, it is painful.

And he goes, but he goes, it was instant reliefs. relief, right? He was like, I can now touch my toes. He says, I had only ever eaten chicken because I thought steak was way too hard to chew, steak’s delicious and not hard to chew anymore because I can move my tongue around and eat steak. Oh my gosh.

So is part of what you do, um, do you kind of look for the tongue ties? Is that part of your specialty? Mm hmm. Yes. I’ve gone and gotten extra education. This was not taught to me in my graduate program, um, as a speech therapist. So this is extra education I’ve gotten, um, and It’s like this whole rabbit hole I’ve started to go down.

And so the tongue ties actually are starting to go with myofunctional therapy, which is another rabbit hole I’m going down on specifically. It’s like where you place your tongue and your mouth posture. So if you think about it, when you’re breathing, your lips should be closed. Your tongue should be right behind your teeth on the bumpy part.

Your teeth should be apart, you should always be breathing through your nose.

And I know not everybody has that like at all. So after you get these trainings, they always say, please don’t go to Disney World because you will notice so many things. Everybody with their tongue or lip ties. Well, that and then people breathing through their mouth and you know, there’s just a whole mess of things that you look at and you’re like, Oh, yikes.

We all need a little bit of therapy in our life. No kidding. So then what is like the spectrum of what you do now? What does that cover? So of course I help mamas and babies with their latch and I will tell you mamas, not every baby needs to be released. Right. And so we’re looking for function. So if, you know, if they have good function, if they have a good latch, they’re getting enough milk mamas, you don’t have what we call lipstick, lipstick nipples, right?

So when the baby pulls off your Your nipple doesn’t look like, um, a beautiful brand new thing of, um, lipstick and your nipples aren’t white. You aren’t getting clogged ducks all the time. You’re functioning well right now. Your baby doesn’t need to be released. Now in the future, I talked about some of the things I saw, but also as a speech pathologist, I also see lots of kids with our issues.

So if I have an issue, cause I also work in the schools. First thing I check for is a tongue tie. So I started working at a new school this year and this girl had an awful R and I checked her right away and she had the same tongue tie as my son, a heart shaped tongue. Wow. Yeah, but I did contact the parents and they said we aren’t fixing it.

It’s fine. And I said, that’s fine. Again, your choice, you do not have to write. And that girl’s choice could be later that she might want to get it revised. Cause she’s like, I am so tight. This hurts. Right. Um, and so I also want to help. Families walk through the correct path with a team approach. So seeing the speech therapist, seeing a pediatric dentist or an ENT, um, whatever’s in your area, because they aren’t all over, you know, it’s nice, I live in Indianapolis and so it’s quite a big city.

So we have more than one choice, right? But I’ve also lived in small itty bitty towns and. You might have to drive an hour to find anyone close to you. Um, I, you also need to be seeing a physical therapist, um, for that tightness. You could also see a craniosacral therapist again for the tightness. A chiropractor for your tightness, right?

You don’t need to see all three, but you want to find someone that specializes in babies specifically to help with that tightness as. Actually, if a baby has torticollis mama, so that’s a baby that will only look one side. So if they only want to feed off your breath, left breast, and never your right.

Then we have an issue, right? And so they’re going to help loosen up that baby, um, and help with all that tightness and hopefully not being like my baby and difficult to pick up. Right. Also, if they’re like shrugged and, um, you know, pulled in so tight that they always have red creases in their neck, or you’re always complaining about milk, it’s stuck in their neck.

I constantly am washing their neck. They’re too tight. Um, They’re way too tight and need to be seen by another provider. That is good to know. Yeah, wow. Okay, so walk me through like a process for a mom. Like if she is like, Oh my gosh, I have lipstick nipples, like my baby’s not gaining weight and she’s coming, you know, she’s going to find some help.

What would that process look like for somebody typically? Sure. So first I would go find a lactation consultant. Um, and not, you know, as we say, not all lactation consultants are the same, right? In any profession, right? Depending on your continuing ed, depending on what you specialize in and learn about, right?

So I would find one, especially if you feel your baby has a tongue or a lip tie, go find one that specializes in this area. Um, They will do a assessment on your baby, um, a sucking assessment. They should also do, um, just look over your baby, a physical assessment. And I always say, if no one gets your baby out of a car seat, go find another provider.

Okay. Cause you should always take the baby out of the car seat and see how your baby is. Uh, how your baby does the lactation consultant should also see you breastfeed if you’re breastfeeding, if not, see, um, how feeding is going. Um, I want to know the rate of your nipple flow, you know, is it a one? Is it a two?

Are we working with a Dr. Brown? What are we working with? Um, because not all flow rates are the same across the board. Um, so those are always good to know. How quickly is your baby eating? Does it seem like your baby’s almost drowning in milk? That’s also an issue, you know, because sometimes you’re like, my baby’s a lazy eater.

Are they a lazy eater? And then you up the flow rate and then they’re going to start drowning in milk, which is not great either. So it, you know, it could be just revising that tongue tie. They’ll actually get. Functional suck, swallow, breathe is what we call it. A 111 suck, swallow, breathe. And are they able to do that correctly?

Okay, then your lactation consultant should refer you to someone they know and trust. Um, the pediatric dentist, the E and T, whatever is close to you, um, for them to also do an evaluation. I usually send you to them. my notes over, um, to the pediatric dentist. This is what I see. Um, this is what I think lactation consultants by themselves are not allowed to diagnose, right?

As speech therapists at more continuing ed, some states allow it. Some states do not allow it. Um, but letting the pediatric dentist just know. What you see, they will also do an evaluation and then you could also say, you know, I would like to see this baby for a week. Can we schedule a week out? I then want to see the baby again, um, after the release.

Um, and then a week later to make sure everything’s going okay. Now big. One of my friends says this, I’ll give you the secret sauce. If your baby starts clicking again or you’re starting to see a lot of problems after the tongue ties revised within those first few days, up to seven days. And you’re seeing those problems again, the tongue might be re adhering to the, you know, the base of the mouth.

And I call into the pediatric dentist or lactation consultant and say, I need to be seen today ASAP. I need you to do a deep stretch for me because sometimes as new mamas we don’t want to hear our babies cry. We’re so nervous we’re hurting our baby, but if you aren’t doing a deep enough stretch, again, that window is closing and we need the curtains to close.

So let us help you open the window just a little bit. So the curtains can close correctly. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. And then also it’s good to also have on your team right away. Also after you’ve seen that lactation consultant, I also say this is my favorite chiropractor in town and go see them too, because they also want to see your baby before, make sure your baby’s all aligned and straightened out then afterwards as well to make sure everything’s going okay.

And the tightness. Is being released. Gosh, that makes so much sense. And it feels like when you say it out loud, it’s a lot of things to do. It is. But I mean, the fact that it affects the, the body as a whole, I mean, I feel like it’s so worth it. Like it makes me want to go out right now and go get all my kids checked and get them revised if they are, because I mean, the fact that it can affect your speech, it can affect the way you move, like that’s a huge deal.

And the fact that some people, it even hurts when they yawn, like I didn’t even realize that was a thing. Absolutely. And one thing, you know, with sometimes your pediatric doctors say, well, let’s have their baby stick their tongue out or watch the baby. And they’re like, oh, it goes past, um, the, the lip line.

It’s fine. Not necessarily. You need to lift the tongue up. You need to see what the fascia is doing underneath, how thick it is, how thin it is, how far it’s coming out, right? I also hear, well, if they can lick a sucker, they’re fine. It’s more than licking a sucker, right? Yeah, it definitely sounds like it.

Um, so I’m curious about, like, your journey that you had. Like, if you were able to go back in time and have a redo of anything, like the process that you went through, would there be anything that you would have changed? Absolutely. I’m not, you know, I wouldn’t have done it so quickly. Right. And so I was in pain.

He was in pain. He wasn’t getting enough to eat. Um, but we could have also used all my pumped milk because I was pumping so much milk and worked with a bottle and paste fed him for a week and it would have been fine, right? But no fault of my lactation consultant. I wish she or my pediatric dentist would have said, let’s not jump into this today.

Let’s make sure you’re set up for success. Because I felt like I failed. Okay. And so I always say, you don’t know what you don’t know. Right. And you have moms come in and they’re crying. I didn’t know. Even I talked to a mom the other day, I feel awful saying this out loud. My kid’s tongue tie wasn’t revised until they’re five.

And I said, that’s okay. Right. You didn’t know what you didn’t know, but I always tell mamas, listen to your mom gut and keep getting second, third, fourth, fifth opinions. Until you figure out what is wrong, and it’s okay to get a second opinion. It’s okay to change your pediatric provider. Yeah, I think that’s great that you said that because I, I feel like we think like, just because we have this one.

Doctor or one professional that we see that we have to just automatically go with what they say. But like you said, like we got to listen to our gut or our intuition, whatever it is you want to call it. That’s telling us like, no, I feel like there’s something more to this than what they’re letting on.

And because there’s other people, like not everybody practices the same, not everybody has the same training like you, like you have all these extra. trainings and certifications or whatever you had, you know, gone through that, you know, maybe this lactation consultant in the next city over from you has none of them.

So you guys are going to have this different experience, not only lived experience, but actual school experience and all that stuff. So, yeah, I mean, get those second, third, fourth, fifth, Whatever it takes until you feel good about that decision or the, the ultimate diagnosis, if you will. Yes. Mm hmm. Because we’re like.

Yeah, I was going to say, I felt like I kept Googling. Dr. Google was not answering my questions. And so then I was seeing other people talking to other moms. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know what you’re talking about. You know, or the old lady would be like, your kid’s drooling. I know this is not.

I know he’s too. This is not normal. Thank you for this. Um. But so I finally was like, okay, I think if I start finding my own continuing Ed, what I think it is. Oh, it’s not this. That’s okay. Okay. I will go find continuing it here. Oh, I think it’s partly here. Right. And so I never. I kind of touched on a few things, but until I finally found that pediatric dentist that also is specialized in Mayo training, does the Mayo munchie, um, she’s now going back to be an orthodontist.

You know, she does all the kid to do we get to is when I finally found an answer. So sometimes you do need to find someone with a ton of extra credentials, a ton of extra education that, you know, just knows a lot more than just your basic provider. Yeah. And then also I feel like it’s hard because like we have to be that advocate for our children.

And if we’re not comfortable even being an advocate for ourselves, sometimes it can be really hard to be an advocate for this other little person that we’re in charge of. So, I mean, but it’s worth it. Like it’s your child’s health and Like you have to be the one to speak up for them because they don’t have that, that big voice yet.

So, and they don’t know any better. So we know a lot more than they do. Exactly. And I was surprised at how many people talked to me after my son’s surgery, when he was three and they were like, I understand him now. He has more words. I don’t notice him drooling. And so people are watching and they do see and maybe they don’t mention it, right?

But I was just shocked at how many people were like, what’s changed? You’re like, Oh, well, he had a surgery, right? Like, that’s what I just say to people. He had a surgery, like in general, kind of, because it’s also a very long story if you tell the whole thing, right? And so, sometimes you just want to say the short version.

Yeah, definitely. So, one other thing that I’m curious about is like, partners, because if a person has a partner, what do you feel like is the best way that a partner can support mom or their child through this journey? Yeah, that is a great question. So specifically, right after your baby, of course, has this tongue into lip tie revised, especially if they’re a little baby, right?

They are in a lot of pain and they’re going to cry. The best thing to do is your partner to do everything else for you. You take a three day staycation is what I call it, and you do skin to skin for the next three days with your baby. Right. And so your partner can also take some of that time skin to skin holding the baby, but it’s great to just hold your baby for the next three to five days.

I say the first three days are going to be your worst days and all they want to do is nurse and use you as a pacifier. Right? Because most Tongue Time babies cannot hold a pacifier in also. And so they want to use you. And of course, you’re like, sure, if that makes you calm, if that makes you’re happy, go ahead.

Yeah, go ahead. And so I think the best for me was that since I already had another son, that my husband was able to watch our oldest. And cook for us and heat up meals and bring me water and I could just hold him through that time as being his comfort, um, because they, they aren’t going to prescribe you any medication, right?

Um, when they’re that little, um, some will do Tylenol, some will do Motrin. Um, and some just say no, nothing, you know, just like if you get, um, your son’s. Help me out here. Thank you. I was like, I couldn’t think of it circumcision done. I mean, they don’t give them medicine for that or tell you to go home and take Tylenol, you know, so it’s, it’s kind of the same thing.

And so I think that was the biggest for me was that, Hey, you need help out and do everything else so that I can take care of this baby. Um, yeah, so that’s what I would say is the biggest thing. Um, also I’ll give you a few more secrets mamas. So they’re of course in pain and so there’s not a lot to give them.

The best thing to do is take your breast milk, take small tiny amounts and freeze it. And then you have seen those munchie bags, right, when babies are exploring and you can put a banana in it or a strawberry or whatever, put it in the bag. I prefer the silicone ones over the mesh ones. Um, but use what you have at home if you already have one.

It’s frozen. Their breast milk, put it in the bag. And then they can chew on that there. A, it’s cold, so it’s going to numb it a little bit. B, they’re getting hydrated off your breast milk. That’s a great tip. I love those little things and have the silicone ones too. I loved it. Yeah. Yeah. They’re amazing. So, you know, as new moms, you might not have one yet, but you know, thanks to friendly people, you can get them in two days.

Yeah, no kidding. Okay, so if somebody would love to connect with you, which, oh my gosh, you’re such an amazing resource. I think everybody should, um, how would they, what would be the best way that they could do that? Yeah. So you can find me on Instagram at breastfeeding relief. You can also find me on my website at breastfeeding relief with bethany.

com. Um, there. Those are the best ways to connect with me. I also have my own podcast, Mamas. We talk about all things breastfeeding and how all journeys are different. Um, so you can also find me on all platforms for that, including YouTube. Um, and that’s at breastfeeding relief with Bethany. Perfect. Oh, I love it.

I can’t wait to hear more of your episodes. Oh my gosh. So good. Thank you. You’re welcome mom, yeah, I wanna say mom is, if you’re concerned that your baby has a tongue or lip tie, I do have freebies on my site. And so you can download all the signs and symptoms of baby, all the signs and symptoms of Mama if you think you have it.

And then also after your baby gets. their tongue and lip tie release. Of course, you need to be tracking that you’re doing the exercises, which you can be like, did I do it? Did I do it enough today? I’m not really sure. So I have a tracker guide on there for you to make sure you’re getting in enough sessions every day.

Perfect. Oh my gosh. What a great resource. I love that. So is there anything else that you would like to leave this audience with before we say goodbye? Mamas just reach out. I would love to have a conversation with you. Um, you know, it’s, it’s okay to ask for help, right? And you have done nothing wrong. I know a lot of mamas feel like, what did I do wrong while I was pregnant?

Nothing. There’s not a lot of research to support that it’s anything specific. It’s usually genetic. So if you know, maybe your husband or partner had a tongue or lip tie, it’s a good chance your child will also have a tongue or lip tie. If one of your children had one, more than likely, all of your children will have a tongue and lip tie.

Okay. And so mamas just know it is not your fault. But I am here to help you through the journey. So you have an awesome journey and not an awful journey like mine. Well, but that, that journey brought you here and now you’re an amazing resource for all these women in need. So thank you so much for the work that you do.

It’s so appreciated and so needed. Thank you, Mamas. All right. Well, you take care. We’ll chat again soon. Oh my gosh, I feel so honored that you took the time out of your busy day to listen to that episode. I really hope that you liked it or something resonated with you or you learned something new today.

Make sure to hit. Subscribe so that you don’t miss an episode. And if you’d like to connect with me, go ahead and go to the show notes and click the link. I’d love for you to rate and review this show that helps more people see this show when they’re searching. Thank you so much. And I hope you have a beautiful day.

I will see you next week.

Thanks so much for listening! Comment below with your #1 takeaway!

To help out our show I would love it if you would subscribe and leave an honest review on ITunes, Sticher, Spotify or Youtube. Your ratings and reviews really help the show, and I read every single one!

Think your child may have a tongue-tie? Grab my freebie Do You Have Pain When Breastfeeding Your Baby? Where I share signs and symptoms of both Mama and Baby where your baby might have a tongue-tie.

Do you have Pain when breastfeeding your baby? Mom hold baby nursing.